Do you love donuts? Do you hate your co-workers? Are you just a sadist who enjoys terrorizing other people? Well, then you're in luck, because Hurts Donuts is making people's nightmares come true.
Franchises of Hurts Donuts bakery around the country are getting in on the traumatizing fun by offering “Scary Clown Deliveries” to its customers. For an additional $5 fee, a decked out clown will come bearing doughnuts with his infamous red balloons in hand.
“Wanna scare the sh… Shprinkles out of your friends!?” a Hurts location in Frisco, Texas wrote on Facebook with photos of a clown creepily posing in a sewage. (People)
Maybe I should open up a TTAG Donuts store in Boston. But instead of using creepy clowns, I'll have people dressed as Donald Trump deliver the donuts. That should scare the shit out of all the limousine liberals in Taxachusetts. I'd even waive the delivery fee for any orders going to libraries in Cambridge.
Biblical prophecy claimed the Rapture would come on April 23. Today is April 24th. So, if you're reading this, then you've either been left behind or those crazy Christians who don't believe in math or science mixed up their numbers again. I'm guessing it's the latter.
In preparation for the Rapture, I decided to go down the YouTube rabbit hole to find the best crazy Christian videos on the internet. Oh, the things I do for you guys.
Here are TTAG's top 5 crazy Christian videos:
5. Mike Seaver and Bananas
As someone who grew up watching re-runs of Growing Pains on TV, it still pains me to see how bananas Mike Seaver is in real life.
4. Jehovah Hates The Gays
WTF is this? WTF IS THIS???. I've seen more convincing propaganda from people who believe the Earth is flat. I can only assume that Jehovahs Witness couldn't find anyone that would embarrass themselves enough to act in their skits so they had to start making cartoons.
Spolier Alert! The video ends in the most Christian way possible, with the daughter saying she's going to tell her friend that her lesbian mothers are going to hell and she better get on the Jehovah train if she wants to go to the zoo.
3. Crazy Baptist Preacher Goes Off On His Church Members (As Any Good Cult Leader Would)
Meet Independent Fundamentalist Baptist Jim Standridge, pastor of Immanuel Baptist Church in Skiatook, Oklahoma. Jim runs a tight ship and is ready to berate anyone who dares to nod off during one of his awful sermons.
2. Pokemon Go And The "Digital Demons"
Rick Wiles shares a harrowing tale with his listeners about the time he had to call the police on some heathen who was taking pictures outside his office. Calm down guys, it wasn't ISIS. The guy was actually just playing Pokemon Go on his phone. The story takes a turn for the righteous when Rick calls out the creator of Pokemon as a devil worshipper who released "digital demons" in churches.
1. Rappin’ For Jesus
The winner by far is this Rappin’ For Jesus video. The video was allegedly made by a pastor trying to appeal to today’s youth by making a Jesus-themed grangsta rap video. Apparently this video went viral five years ago, but if you’re like me and this is the first time you’re seeing it, get ready to have your jaw drop.