Biblical prophecy claimed the Rapture would come on April 23. Today is April 24th. So, if you're reading this, then you've either been left behind or those crazy Christians who don't believe in math or science mixed up their numbers again. I'm guessing it's the latter.
In preparation for the Rapture, I decided to go down the YouTube rabbit hole to find the best crazy Christian videos on the internet. Oh, the things I do for you guys.
Here are TTAG's top 5 crazy Christian videos:
5. Mike Seaver and Bananas
As someone who grew up watching re-runs of Growing Pains on TV, it still pains me to see how bananas Mike Seaver is in real life.
4. Jehovah Hates The Gays
WTF is this? WTF IS THIS???. I've seen more convincing propaganda from people who believe the Earth is flat. I can only assume that Jehovahs Witness couldn't find anyone that would embarrass themselves enough to act in their skits so they had to start making cartoons.
Spolier Alert! The video ends in the most Christian way possible, with the daughter saying she's going to tell her friend that her lesbian mothers are going to hell and she better get on the Jehovah train if she wants to go to the zoo.
3. Crazy Baptist Preacher Goes Off On His Church Members (As Any Good Cult Leader Would)
Meet Independent Fundamentalist Baptist Jim Standridge, pastor of Immanuel Baptist Church in Skiatook, Oklahoma. Jim runs a tight ship and is ready to berate anyone who dares to nod off during one of his awful sermons.
2. Pokemon Go And The "Digital Demons"
Rick Wiles shares a harrowing tale with his listeners about the time he had to call the police on some heathen who was taking pictures outside his office. Calm down guys, it wasn't ISIS. The guy was actually just playing Pokemon Go on his phone. The story takes a turn for the righteous when Rick calls out the creator of Pokemon as a devil worshipper who released "digital demons" in churches.
1. Rappin’ For Jesus
The winner by far is this Rappin’ For Jesus video. The video was allegedly made by a pastor trying to appeal to today’s youth by making a Jesus-themed grangsta rap video. Apparently this video went viral five years ago, but if you’re like me and this is the first time you’re seeing it, get ready to have your jaw drop.
NY Times - “This is the part of my speech where I share some inspirational quotes I found on Google,” he told the packed auditorium. “‘Don’t just get involved. Fight for your seat at the table. Better yet, fight for a seat at the head of the table’ — Donald J. Trump.”
The crowd burst into applause. President Trump is quite popular in Pineville and the surrounding area, which is the heart of coal country and overwhelmingly supported the president in the 2016 election after he promised to bring coal jobs back to America.
“Just kidding,” he said. “That was Barack Obama.”
The cheering abruptly stopped. The crowd went mostly silent. There was a lone boo.
Ah, yes, tribalism at its best. If Trump says something, it's gold. If Obama says something, it's globalist propaganda being used to destroy America and abort babies. I think this little clip highlights a major problem in our country right now. Nobody cares about what is being said, they only care about who is saying it.
Major props to this kid for getting up there and trolling the hell out of his class. I'm sure it can't be easy being smart in Kentucky.
This kids gets an A+++++ in trolling.
It turns out men on the shorter side really do feel like they have something to prove. Researchers at Vrije University in the Netherlands split a group of 42 men into pairs and allowed them to meet their opponents in a money sharing game researchers called the “Dictator Game.” The game is used to assess how fairly individuals treat others. They found that shorter men responded more aggressively when competing in the game, as long as there were no repercussions. Lead researcher Jill Knapen says, “It’s probably smart for short men to be like this because they have [fewer] opportunities to get resources.” Specifically, the shortest men in the study, around 5-foot-seven inches, were most aggressive, while the tallest men in the study, at six-foot-two inches, were least aggressive. This all means that the Napoleon Complex is real.
Well, I guess this explains Ben Shapiro.
Trump is a clown. Get your "Welcome to the Circus" Mug for $14.99 today!
Also available in t-shirts.