Authorities in Arkansas are seeking a pair of toilet paper bandits caught on camera taking rolls of tissue from a public restroom in a park. The Cullman County Sheriff’s Office posted a video to Facebook showing the two men pulling up in a red or maroon GMC Envoy and walking into the men’s room at Sportsman Lake Park in Cullman. The video cuts to the men exiting the restroom with large rolls of toilet tissue. Police said the men took entire toilet paper dispensers out of the restroom, which each cost $100 to replace. (Facebook)
I think I speak for everyone who has ever been stuck in a shitty situation where there's no toilet paper left in the bathroom stall, when I say that the government should absolutely throw the book at these toilet paper bandits when they're eventually caught. I think we should just ignore the eighth amendment and make stealing toilet paper from public restrooms a capital offense. Who's with me?